Filed Under: Growth, Boundaries, Boldness.
The world doesn’t need a quieter version of you - it needs the real one, scars and all.
I don’t know why I feel compelled to say, “I’m not an expert - just someone who’s learned from a lot of experts and even more experiences” - every single time I share something outside of my “expertise” - but for some reason, I always do. Maybe it’s the warped world we live in, where everyone has something to say. Whether you speak up or stay quiet. Show up or sit one out. Post or disappear. You’re always something to someone.
Maybe that’s also why I’ve subconsciously started sharing less and less on social media. Because here’s the truth no one likes to admit: You are in some ways in control of how much you can get hurt - based on how much you put out there.
I used to think sharing was simple - even fun. You post the photo. Say the thing. Be honest. Be open. But the older I get - and the more I’ve lived, lost, learned - I’ve realized: Sharing is never just about expression / telling people what you are doing, what you love, where you are, etc… It’s about exposure. And in a world that’s always watching, always weighing in, it’s tempting to shrink. To say less. Post less. Feel less. Because the less you show, the less they can twist.
Because the more you give, the more they take - opinions, assumptions, projections. And all of the sudden, your joy isn’t just yours. Your heartbreak becomes a headline. Even your silence gets interpreted. So you start editing - not just your posts, but yourself. Softening the edges. Rounding the truth. Making sure you don’t take up too much space.
You start biting your tongue so often, you forget the sound of your own voice. You begin editing yourself in real time - cutting the soft parts, the bold parts, the parts that might make someone… uncomfortable. And before you know it, you’re not being private. You’re being erased.
I’ve done it. Dimmed my light to avoid being "too much." Softened my story so it wouldn’t offend the people who only liked me quiet. Shared half-truths just to feel safe.
Because the truth is, everything you say will be too much for someone. Too loud. Too vulnerable. Too proud. Too dramatic. Too sensitive. Too honest. But that’s not your problem to solve.
Your job isn’t to be palatable - it’s to be true. And shrinking yourself to make others comfortable isn’t strength. It’s just self-abandonment with good PR.
I don’t have all the answers. And perhaps I never will. But what I do have is this: a truth I’ve lived, a story I’m still learning how to tell at times. And in a world obsessed with appearances in a curated perfect life, maybe telling the truth is still the boldest thing we can do.
Even if it’s imperfect. Even if it’s unfinished. Even if it’s just a whisper of who we are - it still matters. Because when you share from a place of truth - not validation - it’s not about being liked. It’s about feeling whole. And not everyone will understand that. But the right ones will.And you? Maybe, just maybe… you’ll feel like yourself again.
NASTIA’S NOTES:
You can be private without disappearing. Protecting your peace doesn’t mean hiding your voice.
Not everyone deserves access to your story - and that’s okay. Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re doors you get to choose when to open.
If it costs you your authenticity, it’s too expensive.
Speaking your truth might ruffle feathers, but staying silent might suffocate you. Choose your discomfort wisely.
You don’t have to be an expert to have something meaningful to say. Lived experience is wisdom, too.
xx NL